In the 17th Century when English immigrants settled in the East, they brought with them their religious views and their views on homosexuality (Burns,13). Ministers would shout to their congregation that being a gay man can bring the fear of the “sin of Sodom” (Burns,13). This god-fearing way stayed with American people well into today’s time period. Homosexuals wanted to be accepted, but if you were gay in that time period, “coming out of the closet” was not an option. It has taken many years for the gay and lesbian community to be heard and have equality. As America grew with a mixture of people; views of homosexuality have slowly changed.
Clubs and organizations began to emerge as early as 1924. Society for Human Rights, founded by Henry Gerber in Chicago was one of the first such organizations (Marcus, 3). These clubs and organizations gave people a relatively safe place to congregate, meet other people and to put out the word that being gay is not a disease or a crime. Being homosexual doesn’t mean that person is so different that the next. But, with society still giving homosexuality a bad name and people’s religious views; children who are gay suffer.
If you ask a young child if they are gay or straight, you won’t get an accurate answer. Children know that they may not be the same in some aspects as their neighbor, but, being able to figure out why is another issue. According to the book Looking at Gay and Lesbian Life, there seems to be a process that a young child “comes out” of the closet. This child is usually between the ages of ten and fourteen years of age (Blumfeld, 90).
There are five crucial steps. Stage one: Pre-Coming-Out: This stage states that the child is not aware of the same sex attractions, due to the defenses built up. He or she does feel the difference from others but does not quite understand what it is. Stage two: Coming-Out: The person becomes to a conscious or semi-conscious state of having the same sex feelings towards another. This is a very confusing part on a young child. Many will only tell one or two close people that they trust. Many will reach out to those they know are gay or lesbian. Rejection is a major part of this coming out. Stage three: Exploration: The person at this point will interact with more gay and lesbians individual and experiment with their new found sexual identity. This mostly occurs in adolescence, but those people who were not able to come out earlier due to social stigmas undergo what is referred to as “developmental lag”. Stage four: First relationship: Following stage three, the person usually desires a relationship with another person who has the same sexual feelings. And finally Stage five: Integration: This is a very important part of being accepting of one’s self and being accepted by others in the community (Blumfeld, 90).
For some it takes years and sometimes a lifetime to accept who they are. Society has taught us that sexuality should be viewed only one way. It is time for America to step up and see that just because you love someone who is the same sex as you, that doesn’t interfere with your ability to learn, care, parent, serve our nation, or anything.
Homosexual Americans have struggled with obtaining equality. Homosexuals struggle with being able to marry who they wish out of love; serve our County with honor and be recognized for such service, and not be bullied.
America has granted many rights to individuals over the years. Civil Rights for African-American and equality for women. American’s viewed them as different as they do homosexuals. Where is the just in this? We are not a Communist country. We are the “land of the free”….or so we are told. Don’t homosexuals get the rights as every other American born citizen? Just as the African-American’s and women have struggled to obtain their rights, gays and lesbians are now on that fighting line.
According to CNSNews.com, the Obama administration states that some bullying may just violate the federal anti-discrimination law. Obama himself stated “No one should have to endure relentless harassment or tormenting. No one should ever feel so alone or desperate that they feel they have nowhere to turn. We each share a responsibility to protect our young people. And we also have an obligation to set an example of respect and kindness, regardless of our differences.”
Unfortunately, when children realize they are gay they are in the most impressible years of their life. Other kids can be mean and just ruthless. Since someone who is homosexual may act, dress or talk different than the rest of the kids; they are not in the norm and usually get picked on.
Granted, from twenty years ago to today, America has come a long way towards acceptance. When speaking to a friend of mine, (who is gay) he states that the kids in school were very mean and made fun of him. Scott never “came out” until a few years after high school. But, it took him moving to a new school for a fresh start to feel accepted by his peers. At his new school, people didn’t judge him on the way he talked or dressed, they judged him on his character, which all Americans need to learn.
In today’s society schools are different, the kids are even different. I have a daughter who is a lesbian; Jill-Marie came out to me when she was twelve. I will be honest; it took about six months for me to come to terms with this. At first, I thought it was just a phase. Then as the years passed, I knew it wasn’t a phase. When I look back in time, I see signs that she was/is gay. She would cry when she had a dress on. She would not play with dolls; it was her brothers G.I. Joe’s. Tonka Trucks to Barbie Dream House! I should have known when she told me, but as any mother would, I didn’t want to see it. I accept it. I accept Jill-Marie and her girlfriend. I have been given a great insight to this culture and way of life. There does seem to be a lot of drama. But, in general, Jill and her girlfriend are like any other relationship; gay or straight. When asking Jill how her peers felt about her being gay, she informed me she found “total acceptance”. I am very lucky that Jill has been accepted by her peers and has not had to face the ugliness of society.
Kids today still have drama and bullies. Being gay or lesbian is an issue to our children. Many children still have to hide who they are because they are afraid. However, many children today do not hide their sexuality in the school system anymore. It’s been quite accepted to see same sex couples in the high schools, even at the malls or movies. Even so, according to National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, "Anti-Gay/Lesbian Victimization," New York, 1984, Students who describe themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered are five times more likely to miss school because of feeling unsafe. 28% are forced to drop out. -- But, there are still many kids today that still feel the difference and they may take desperate measure to end it, such as suicide. Or worse yet, when Matthew Shepard was killed because of being gay. Shepard, an aspiring college student was tortured and murder. From this horrible tragedy, at least congress passed on October 22, 2009 the Matthew Shepard Act, this expanded on the 1969 United States federal hate crime law. The original law only protected hate crimes based on race, color, or religion. Due to this expanded Law, hate crimes extend to homosexuals. This is the first federal law to extend legal protection to transgender persons (www.matthewshepard.org).
But, there is so much more that homosexuals need equality with, such as, marriage, and military service. Marriage in this country has always been viewed as sacred; between one man and one woman. Our federal government does not recognize same sex marriage, but a few states do grant it. The first state to allow this law to pass was Massachusetts. Massachusetts deemed that the Defense of Marriage Act passed by President Clinton was deemed unconstitutional. Kentucky does not recognize same sex marriage according to our Constitution. Also, according to Lambda Legal, Kentucky does not even recognize same sex marriage and/or unions from other states or jurisdictions. But, really who are we to question another human being who they can love and marry? Does it really fracture the structure of our country if two men or two women marry? I don’t think so. I personally believe our country has a lot of changing to do. People are people and need to be viewed as that. Our government does not belong in the bedroom or the marriage of the citizen’s of America. And when that man or woman wakes up and puts on their military uniform, is the government going to discharge them today? Not today, but back in our grandparents day you might have faced that.
Our Military officially prohibited homosexuality since the 1940’s. Be that as it may; discharge and punishments varied by branch and activities of our country and commanders. When our country was at war, officials overlooked homosexuality. Yes, good people still were discharged, but the amounts were not as high as in time of peace. It is known that commanders and other personnel back in this period work beside their gay counterparts; knowing they were gay. They too could have faced a dishonorable discharge (Burns, 148).
It is hard to believe our government thought they had a say who could protect our wonderful country. In 1993, the former President Clinton, passed the bill “don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t pursue”, (Burns, 149). The Department of Defense declared, “A person’s sexual orientation is considered a personal and private matter and is not a bar to service unless manifested by homosexual conduct.”, (Burns, 149). The only thing was, the Service Man or Woman could not tell or let on to anyone that he or she was gay. If the service personal was proven to be gay; they faced prosecution and dishonorable discharged.
The greatest feat was with President Obama in 2011. He repealed the policy of ’93 and allowed the service of gays in the Military. “"Our military will no longer be deprived of the talents and skills of patriotic Americans just because they happen to be gay or lesbian," Obama said in a statement released by the White House.” , (www.msnbc.com). Within this, the men and women serving our country would not have to be ashamed or hide who they are anymore. And they can still serve with pride.
Our country needs to be a country of total acceptance of all people. Let’s put all this negative bullshit aside. Why can’t we accept our neighbors Bill and Ross? Why don’t we do lunch with Katherine and Maria? It is not a disease, it is not a choice. It is love.
Kate Burns, The History of Issues: Gay Rights. Greenhaven Press, 2006
Eric Markus, Making Gay History. HapperCollins, 2002
Walter Williams and Yolanda Retter, Gay and Lesbian Rights in the United States. Greenwood Press, 2003
Warren J. Blumenfeld and Diane Raymond, Looking At Gay and Lesbian Life, Updated and Expanded Edition, Beacon Press 1988
Scott -personal interview
Jill Farley-personal interview
www.mathewsheppard.org
Military on msnbc.com
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